Scootin’ around Houston

I haven’t made a post on here in a while, probably BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN TOO BUSY SEEING EVERYTHING IN HOUSTON. I have also been busy with my wedding, my job, and watching the Kansas City Royals. 

In the months since my last post here, I have seen so much more of this huge city. What a great town with an endless array of things to do. Below are some pics and stories of places I have explored:

My brand new wife and I took a jaunt downtown to the Aquarium because we had buy one, get one All-Day Adventure pass coupons. Pretty sweet deal. It was a great time. We saw some cool animals, including these weird "Waxy" frogs. THEY DID NOT MOVE A SINGLE CENTIMETER THE ENTIRE DAY. I am guessing that the aquarium is playing a joke on everyone by making up some cool names for a fake animal (Waxy? That is the best you could come up with? I mean they do look waxy but that is PROBABLY CUZ THEY ARE MADE OF WAX), then placing the fake animals in comical positions in terrariums.

Doesn't the frog in the back look like he is taking an eternal poop?

We also saw one of the most heartwarming scenes you will NEVER see in real-live nature. In the picture below, note that a baby alligator is resting on a bigger alligator that is RESTING ON A TURTLE. This is no joke. And these animals were alive and real, unlike the weird fake frogs above. You could literally see the sweat beads forming on the turtle's head as he sat there, completely at the mercy of the bigger alligator, just knowing if he tried to move out of being the alligator's head rest, he would be immediately eaten. Soupe à la tortue, as they say in French...

What I wanna know is, what happens if the turtle farts?

 I apologize in advance but this aquarium was full of toilet humor. No joke. The aquarium is home to several white tigers, and one of them must have a sick fetish or something because it walked right up to the observation window and took the longest bathroom break in the history of animals RIGHT IN FRONT OF LITTLE KIDS AND EVERYTHING. Seriously, the potty break lasted almost as long as an episode of Glee. It was long enough to snap several pictures and wonder if the tiger had been holding it in for several days, just waiting for this very moment that someone would capture on their iPhone and post on the internet. Animals sure are funny...

However, that tiger got his revenge on me after I snapped a pic of him in mid-tinkle. You can see the tiger in the picture below that I somehow snapped before he slashed my shoulder and carried off my wife back to his tiger den. A totally unsuspecting tourist mistake...

Just kidding! The tiger was a prop for pictures next to the aquarium gift shop. We had to get another selfie just for kicks. Tons of fun at the Downtown Aquarium!

 A few weeks after watching that tiger tinkle (which would be a great name for a rock band), we went to the Original Houston Greek Festival, which was pretty neat. We had some great pastries and stuff wrapped in grape leaves (not sure what but it tasted good even though it looked a little bit like tiger doo-doo).

This is not tiger doodoo. This is actual Greek food that is called dolmades and is delicious. Get those dirty thoughts out of your head and stop making fun of other cultures.

 Then we watched some Greek children dance to traditional music which was pretty cool, and everywhere we saw these pictures of some dude with a ponytail wearing a skirt and tights. Every culture has their own traditions so let's try not to make fun of them...

Very little at the Greek Fest was similar to the Greek Life that I had known in my undergrad years. Take a look at college Greeks:

I don't know what it going on here. You don't either. It is best if we never try to explain.

After the Greek Fest, we went to the House of Blues in downtown Houston because I had scored free tickets to a show by The Preatures. Pretty awesome band and the show was really fun.

 A few nights after that we decided to check out Little Woodrows in Rice Village to imbibe some adult beverages and watch sports. Just an FYI for anyone visiting Woodrows, they do not serve food. So if you plan to indulge in some sustenance while imbibing your beverages, be prepared to bring your own foodstuffs. My wife and I brought a Domino's pizza because we had a coupon for one. You may notice a pattern here, which is that I AM CHEAP.

Beverages and sports at Woodrows: BYOF

 To cap all of this off, we watched the nice sunset (below) yesterday evening before heading to Baker St. Pub to imbibe some more adult beverages. Unaware of why it was called Baker St. Pub (because it is located at the corner of Times Blvd. and Morningside Dr.), I used my super sleuth powers to determine that it is named after the street that Sherlock Holmes resided on, which explained the pictures of Sherlock Holmes inside the bar. Not bad, if I say so myself. Might have a career as a detective ahead of me...